A Tale Of A Heinous Crime

Now tonight my place of employment was the victim of a crime
So much so I couldn't wait to tell you all
I shall include as much interesting transcript as possible  for the enjoyment of your reading!

Now for the start of this tall tale.....

Me and my fellow co-worker we will call him Jdilla for secuity purposes
We were standing at the top of the stairs after finishing a rather uneventful shift we were changed and decided to a small drop of liquor a cranberry juice for me (im not much a fan of drinking these days)

All of a sudden the waitress burst threw the door at the bottom of the stairs
"Where's chef, Is he up there" she asks frantically
"No he's popped to the bin area i think" i replied in a confused fashion

So myself and Jdilla made our way down the stairs and into the main restaurant and bar area
Through the doors straight away we see a rather well built, bald chap standing tall, over a seated foreign,
I took this foreign fellow to be of Turkish origin from his hair and skin tone and quite bushy facial hair just a moustache mind you though!!

Between the two aforementioned men was a crowd of three other men
From what i saw I thought "well bugger me old boy i fear there may be a show of fisticuffs!"
because of this crown we had to take the long way round to the bar
once round the barkeeps girlfriend then divulged the full details of what had happened before we entered the room.

She went on to say this....
"the foreign guy over there entered the place with another guy his accomplice i assume, they scouted the few tables left, and picked the one he's sat at now, he went over took out some cards and started talking very fast to them both he then took a seat uninvited spread the cards over the table and continued trying to sell them to the people there despite them saying no he finally gave up but not before he managed to slip the mans phone into one of the cards and try to walk off, rather quickly the man had noticed what happened and confronted the foreign chap, of course he denied all knowledge of it happening the barman called up the old bill, this is when the three other guys strolled over to 'keep the piece'"
Which they did rather well i assume from the lack of bloodshed!

Now this when a parade of police officers entered the establishment, when i say a parade i'm not exaggerating  on a pair here i promise i swear there was actually seven officers that arrived to the scene of this petty crime we call theft in our backwards society!

And the questioning began.....

Many minutes went past before me and Jdilla decided this would be a good time for a cigerette, we walk outside to where the carpark and garden was, and the first thing we see is a flaming riot van!!! not a astra or compulsory corsa a flaming massive Riot Van!!!
We sit down shortly followed by the police officers, the foreign man, and shortly after the bald man/ poor victim!!
The bald man then says to the officers by the way guys you should do him for three different crimes!
1- theft
2- touting goods
3- begging (apparently he went on to ask for a train fare!!!)

He chats some police chit chat waffle!!
This is when we find out the man was a off duty police officer himself
So its obvious this man must've had a pair of absolutely massive balls!!
No only did he choose a well built man but he was a bloody policeman as well!!

Obvious to say the man was told he would be arrested, he can't believe this
He states he has done nothing wrong!!
The flaming cheek of him
What impetuousness!!!

I honestly was shocked to the core of my body with this event

I hope this has been of pleasant reading to you all

I bid you farewell and goodnight

Until the next time

simon x